I have a teacher who in savasana always says “Relax your mind. Relax your mind. Relax your mind.” I have also heard a Bikram quote about your mind being a bad neighborhood to reside in. That’s me. I continue to play mind games with myself and it’s exhausting! Getting to class these days is hard enough, with my constant canceling and rescheduling classes online and setting and unsetting alarm clocks–some sort of wacky yoga OCD. (See my earlier post on Mind Games) I’m still trying to figure that out… then on top if it, I continue to be frustrated with myself in class. It starts pretty damn early when I can’t grab my hands under my ankles in warm up. I have tried and tried. I think it’s my shoulders, however, for whatever reason, at nearly 10 months of yoga, my hands can’t shovel behind my ankles but sort of to the sides of my feet.
I am going to consciously working on just being in class and observing my practice vs. judging it. As you can see, I have a ways to go :).My thought process is something like this in class:
Breathing: Gee, I hope I get my shoulders higher one of these days.
Halfmooning: I’m moving pretty well side to side. Lock your elbows
Hands to Feet: Grrr, why can’t my hands scoop up under my ankles #$%$
Awkward Pose: Why does it hurt when I go up my toes? Go higher on your toes and balance.
Eagle: Why is my leg no where near wrapping around my ankle? Why is everyone else able to do this? Is it my hips? I suck.
You get the picture…
There will always be people who are better, who are more flexible, who have an easier time with their practice. No point in comparing them to me.
I have read that with practice comes improvement, so I just have to trust in the process. I also have to try to find the right balance. I mentioned earlier my cardio level has really declined so I’d like to add a few spin classes to my week. I’m also hoping that helps me drop a few pounds, which in turn will make some poses a little easier to do. Attendance in cardio classes will likely come at the expense of yoga, however, I think while easy to get obsessive about it, you need balance in all things. If it slows down my yoga progress a little, then I’ll just have to deal with it.